As a Republican, I’m Just Hoping the Abortion Ban Can Help Even Out this COVID Death Rate
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Article for reference:
https://www.nytimes.com/2021/11/08/briefing/covid-death-toll-red-america.html
I just saw a headline in the New York Times — don’t worry, I wasn’t reading it, I just glanced over the shoulder of the person in front of me in the security line — and that headline said something about how a lot of people who vote republican or live in red areas are dying of COVID. My mind is quicker than a well-digger’s ass, so I had an immediate silver lining reaction to this news:
Thank the good lord above for the abortion ban, and for me and my Republican colleagues for realizing just how necessary it was.
You may be thinking that I’m talking about helping build back the population with all those babies that will now be forced into existence, and while I do love a good fetus, no! I’m talking about the exact opposite. Every time we enact a strict law with regard to abortion and women’s health issues, women die. You with me so far? I’m wittier than a lead balloon and I’m walking kind of fast to catch this plane, so I’ll try not to leave you behind.
If your goal is to “save lives,” you’re missing the point. Answer me this: Who do most women vote for? I’m not talking about god-fearing, uneducated, and/or greedy white women. I’m talking about the other women. You know the ones. The purple hairs. The libturds. The S-W-Js or whatever. The ones who don’t have the body parts I think they should have or don’t identify with the gender that god himself assigned to them. Heck, some of these ladies don’t even call themselves ladies! Those ones. Those are the people who vote for the democrats and the socialists and the gaywads, so those are the people we’re trying to kill.
What do you mean how can I say that out loud? It’s called freedom! Haha just kidding, we’ve got this place so gerrymandered and taken away so many voting rights that I could literally say anything at all and keep my job as a senator from the great state of Idaho. For example, I could yell “I knocked up an underage woman of color and am currently taking her to get an abortion in Mexico because she said she’ll expose me if I don’t ‘take care’ of the situation!”
