The contents of the new leaked document are as follows: We, the conservative wing of the Supreme Court, hold that Roe v. Wade must be overturned. Additionally, we hold that we are a bunch of rat fuck suck shits. Americans hold starkly conflicting views on abortion. Some fervently believe that…

I’ve got you right where I want you now. — 50: I appreciate this piece of writing you contributed to the world. It made me laugh, or I learned something, or I thought about something in a new way. Thank you. 49: I appreciate this piece of writing you contributed to the world, but I accidentally lifted my finger before…

Article for reference: https://www.nytimes.com/2021/11/08/briefing/covid-death-toll-red-america.html I just saw a headline in the New York Times — don’t worry, I wasn’t reading it, I just glanced over the shoulder of the person in front of me in the security line — and that headline said something about how a lot of people…

It’s 9/11 so let’s talk about “never forgetting.” I will never forget the horror of that day and imagining being trapped in one of the towers or on one of those planes. I will never forget how this country squandered an opportunity to do something positive for the world as…

Wow, thank you all for the birthday wishes on Facebook! I especially loved the gif of the cat in the party hat that Roger posted. That cat looks so unenthusiastic. It’s hilarious. Incidentally, I’m not feeling all that enthusiastic about being at the bottom of this well. I don’t mean…

1.) Napkin rings: How about throwing in some American flag napkin rings for your next dinner party? They’re subtle and tasteful, but everyone will enjoy discovering how patriotic you are when they sit down at the table. 2.) Pets: Pets are the purrfect way to show your patriotism! Now make…