They’re shaped like dicks. — Sucklin’ on a big bratwurst Outside the Burger King Slurpin’ on some sausage links Outside the Dairy Queen Guzzlin’ down some churros Outside the LL Bean Gulpin’ up a corndog Outside the Lean Cuisine Gaggin’ on a popsicle On the porch of Olive Garden Eatin’ a banana… Something something Jamba Juice…

Ah, dang it. Kirk Cameron is right again. I can’t believe that guy hasn’t gotten raptured yet. Now he’s speaking truth to power about public schools. As a public school educator, I can’t stay quiet anymore. …

The contents of the new leaked document are as follows: We, the conservative wing of the Supreme Court, hold that Roe v. Wade must be overturned. Additionally, we hold that we are a bunch of rat fuck suck shits. Americans hold starkly conflicting views on abortion. Some fervently believe that…

I’ve got you right where I want you now. — 50: I appreciate this piece of writing you contributed to the world. It made me laugh, or I learned something, or I thought about something in a new way. Thank you. 49: I appreciate this piece of writing you contributed to the world, but I accidentally lifted my finger before…

Article for reference: https://www.nytimes.com/2021/11/08/briefing/covid-death-toll-red-america.html I just saw a headline in the New York Times — don’t worry, I wasn’t reading it, I just glanced over the shoulder of the person in front of me in the security line — and that headline said something about how a lot of people…

It’s 9/11 so let’s talk about “never forgetting.” I will never forget the horror of that day and imagining being trapped in one of the towers or on one of those planes. I will never forget how this country squandered an opportunity to do something positive for the world as…

Things feel hopeless right now, I know. There’s never been a shortage of dark shit going on in the world, but this current time is the darkest in my lifetime. The kind of darkness I couldn’t have imagined as a younger person. It feels like we’re in the midst of…

Wow, thank you all for the birthday wishes on Facebook! I especially loved the gif of the cat in the party hat that Roger posted. That cat looks so unenthusiastic. It’s hilarious. Incidentally, I’m not feeling all that enthusiastic about being at the bottom of this well. I don’t mean…